397 Quotes by Denis Leary

Hockey’s my favorite sport.

I’m a pretty boring guy. Compared to Ashton Kutcher, I live a really boring existence.

You just can’t win. Men have very recent land mines in their heads. Women have recorded conversations and photographs in their heads from 15 years ago.

What firefighters and people in our military and cops do is separate from what the rest of us do; basically these people say, ‘I’m going to protect all these strangers.’

I’ve been nominated for Emmys and Golden Globes, but I’ve never won one and I probably never will.

It’s important to have your own space. I’ve never trusted people who do everything together. I call them “Kool-Aid Couples,” because it’s like they drank the same Kool-Aid and it’s drugged them into constantly gazing into each other’s eyes.

When I was a teenager, you couldn’t get straight pants. Then in ’76, when punk started to hit, it was a revelation that you could find straight pants again.

Jon Stewart is exactly the same guy he’s always been, only with money. He knows that the moment he really believes he’s important, the funny goes away and he becomes Bill O’Reilly, except shorter and Jewish.

My career plan at this point is ‘Ice Age 5’ through ‘10,’ and even ‘12,’ and ‘Spider Man’ – you know, basically I’d be Emma Stone’s dad for the rest of my career. I really don’t have any problem doing that.