393 Quotes by Dennis Miller

The Cowboy's defense has more holes in it than Ronny Milsapp and Jose Feliciano after a game of lawn darts.

I think the American legal system sucks worse than a Celine Dion cover version of Whole Lotta Love.

If Clinton had only attacked terrorism as much as he attacks George Bush we wouldn't be in this problem.

If somebody wants to shoot up and die in front of you, more power to them. The herd has a way of thinning itself out.

That field goal attempt was so far to the left it nearly decapitated Lyndon LaRouche.

The punt returner got smacked like Nancy Kerrigan's knee on souvenir pipe night.

The Nazi signs have got to stop. If you're in a peace march and the guy next to you has a sign saying that 'Bush is Hitler,' forget the peace thing for a second and beat his ass, because he is not Hitler.

Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off the nation's highways.

That secondary provides worse coverage than a Guatemalan HMO.