393 Quotes by Dennis Miller

Now let me get this straight. Bush is anti-abortion, but pro-death penalty. I guess it's all in the timing, huh?

I've always loved the flirtatious tango of consonants and vowels, the sturdy dependability of nouns and capricious whimsy of verbs, the strutting pageantry of the adjective and the flitting evanescence of the adverb, all kept safe and orderly by those reliable little policemen, punctuation marks. Wow! Think I got my ass kicked in high school?

I think the people can bash Catholics because they know Catholics won't kill them. Quite frankly, there's some religions out there, you bash and they're going to kill you.

The government could take away all the drugs in the world and people would spin around on their lawns until they fell down and saw God.

Homosexuals are entering the mainstream, because they're becoming as boring and as tedious as any other splinter group.

If you could use the Internet somehow to see how a Fiji sailor is doing, rather than having to read a text version of it somewhere a day later, that would be great.

Our desire was to be annexed into one of the villages of Columbia, but it didn't turn out that way.

Everyone wants answers and wants to know what the timeline is. Unfortunately, it's a complex situation, and we don't have the final answers yet.

Drop the veneer periodically and be like "OK, I'm an imperfect human. Let's try to get through this."