393 Quotes by Dennis Miller

The very definition of the innate hollowness of leading a political life when you end up on your nearest and dearest moments or most personal evenings with donors. That should – that should tell you all you need to know about the ramble that is politics.

Everybody is full of crap. The coin of the realm is being full of crap. The best people – being full of crap are our leaders and our superstars.

He lasted about as long as the dessert tray at Rosie O’Donnell’s house.

A third myth is that men think that women like guys who are dangerous. As a result, guys will often smoke cigarettes, drink too much, and ride a motorcycle without a helmet. The reality? Women don’t like guys who are dangerous. Women want us to think that because women are trying to kill us.

The Patriots deflated balls are but an allegory for America’s deflated balls in dealings with Putin, the Mullahs in Iran, and Islamic terrorists.

Drop the veneer periodically and be like “OK, I’m an imperfect human. Let’s try to get through this.”

Women don’t like guys who are dangerous. Women just want us to think that because women are trying to kill us.

It’s your living room, it’s your life, go nuts. You like Home Improvement? Tape it and go over it like it’s the Zapruder film.

There’s nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you’re insightful about it.