393 Quotes by Dennis Miller

It’s wrong to discriminate based on skin color when there are so many other reasons not to like someone.

I lapsed into rude.

Only man is a narcissistic enough species to think that a highly evolved alien life force would travel across billions and billions of light-years a group of aliens so intelligent, so insouciant, so utterly above it all, they feel no need whatsoever to equip their spacecraft with windows so that they can gaze out on all that celestial beauty but then immediately upon landing, their first impulse is to get in some hick's ass with a flashlight.

A selfie is paparazzi for people who aren't vibrant enough to attract paparazzi.

You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the three Rs, only one begins with an R.

You can put up a front in the real world, but your mom sees through that faster than Superman sees through Lois Lane's pantsuit.