500 Quotes by Derek Landy

Tell me: do you ever actually remember having a heart, or were you born dead?

Excuse me, I believe you're standing on my sword. I don't think this is entirely fair, you're angry with Skulduggery because he didn't kill Valkyrie, but you and me, we've never even met. I mean, you have no reason to attack me, if you got to know me, if you took the time, I'm sure you'd really like me. I'm a likeable girl, everyone says so - Tanith Low

Did you know, and this is a fact here, did you know that most spiders are ugly? It's true. The woman spiders have it really hard time of it. I saw it on a documentary. Why do you think the Black Widow kills the guy she mates with? Shame, that's why - Tanith Low

He could be a butterfly dreaming he's a man.""Well, he's not. He's a big fat man dreaming he's a big fat butterfly. What the hell am I supposed to do?" There was another hesitation. "I'm not sure. You don't happen to have a large net handy, do you?" "I want to hit him. I want to hit YOU, but I also want to hit him.

What does a clue look like?" Tanith whispered.Stephanie fought the giggle down and whispered back. "I'm looking for a footprint or something.""Have you found one yet?""No. But that's probably because I haven't moved from this spot.""Maybe we should move, pretend we know what we're doing."They started to walk, very slowly, still looking straight down.

Well, yeah, but she looks, like, twenty-two. And she acts like a four-year-old.

I'm sorry? No more smooches is worse than the world ending?

I wouldn't mind a sister either.""Any chance of that happening?""I can't see what would be in it for my parents. I mean, they have the perfect daughter already - what more could they want?"Tanith laughed, then tried to cover it up with a cough."Found something?" Skulduggery asked from behind them.Tanith turned, looking serious. "No, sorry. I thought I had, but, no, it turned out to be, uh... more floor."Stephanie hugged herself, trying to stop her shoulders shaking from laughter.

The Baron, unfortunately, turns it all the way up to eleven.""Seriously? Because, you know, that's one more evil