500 Quotes by Derek Landy

Valkyrie: Do we have a plan?Skulduggery: WE need to get the Grotesquery away from the bad guys, so we'll have to split up I'm going to leave, you're going to go hide under the van, wait until they load the Grotesquery in there, and then you're going to drive off under their nosesValkyrie: What?Skulduggery: It'll be really funny trust me

Skulduggery: You won't want to move any sudden moves until we reach the road - I'll know if you crazy kids disturbs the air around the nice bag of explosivesValkyrie: Blow it upSkulduggery: Can't do thatValkyrie: Why not?Skulduggery: Not a bomb. It's a bag with collapsible jacks; for changin tyresValkryie: What about the remote?Skulduggery: It opens my garage door. Don't tell them, but it doesn't even have any batteries in it

*After Skulduggery kills Valkyrie*Skulduggery: This has been a good day so far, all things considered, I have the location of the Grotesquey and I got to kill Valkyrie, which admittedly is something I've been wanting to do since I met her, she can be incredibly annoyingScapegrace: UmSkulduggery: She hardly ever shut up, I pretended to be the friends with her, but honestly, I just felt sorry for the poor girl. Not the brightest you know.Valkyrie: You're such a goon.

The better I can make the world, the better it is for the people in my life

Come and have a go, if you think you're hard enough

It's really not as bad as it sounds. I was attacked by a shark once, back when I was alive. Well, not so much a shark as a rather large fish. And not so much attacked as looked at menacingly. But it had murder in its eyes, that fish. I knew, in that instant, if our roles had been reversed and the fish had been holding the fishing pole and I had been the one to be caught, it wouldn't hesitate a moment before eating me. So I cooked it and ate before it had a chance to turn the tables.

The sparrow flies south for the winter.

I am a rational man, but haven't you heard? i'm also insane. It gives me a unique perspective on things.

Clarabelle...Clarabelle... You worked as Kenspeckle Grouse's assistant, did you not?''One of the. He fired all the others.''But not you?''He fired me on the second day, but I kept coming in. I had nowhere else to go.''And then you killed him.''Yes.''A Remnant squirmed inside you, and you killed Kenspeckle Grouse.''Yes.'Nye grinned. 'You're hired. But I have warn you, if you try to kill me, I will dissect you and sing along to your screams.''Can I have Mondays off?''You may.