500 Quotes by Derek Landy

Did you know, and this is a fact here, did you know that most spiders are ugly? It’s true. The woman spiders have it really hard time of it. I saw it on a documentary. Why do you think the Black Widow kills the guy she mates with? Shame, that’s why – Tanith Low.

We’re all barbarians at our core. We’re all savage, murderous beasts. I know I am. I’m sure you are. The only difference between us, Mr Prave, is how loudly we roar. I roar very loudly indeed. How about you? Do you think you can match me? – China.

Stephanie, we just want what you have. We want to have fun and we want to have powers and do exiting things. We’ve been talking, and we’ve decided that we want you to teach us magic. – Carol.

Well, for future reference, this is my serious face.

Here lies Valkyrie Cain, who died heroically after falling of a train.” At least it rhymed.

Get away from my ex-girlfriend, you moany little whinge-bag. – Fletcher.

Clarabelle, did you draw a smiley face on the robot? – Nye.

I don’t have feathers, do I?” The boy shrugged. “Some birds don’t have feathers.” Beneath his mask, Sebastian frowned. “All birds have feathers. Feathers are what makes them birds.” “What about the duck-billed platypus?” the boy asked. “That doesn’t have feathers. It has fur. What kind of duck has fur?” “The duck-billed platypus isn’t a duck. It’s a platypus.” “What’s a platypus?” “It’s a monotreme,” Bennet said miserably. “A mammal that lays eggs.” “Oh,” said the boy.

The great Skeleton Detective, in the flesh – figuratively speakin’, of course.