179 Quotes by Dick Gregory

It was an unwritten law that black comics were not permitted to work white nightclubs. You could sing and you could dance, but you couldn’t stand flat-footed and talk; that was a no-no.

You know, I always say white is not a colour, white is an attitude, and if you haven’t got trillions of dollars in the bank that you don’t need, you can’t be white.

Last time I was down South I walked into this restaurant, and this white waitress came up to me and said: ‘We don’t serve colored people here.’ “I said: ’that’s all right, I don’t eat colored people. Bring me a whole fried chicken.

I don’t know why America always thinks she has to run all around the world forcing people to take our way of governance at the barrel of a gun. When you’ve got something really good, you don’t have to force it on people. They will steal it!

Dogs are great assets to candidates, and the feeling seems to be engendered that if a dog loves the candidate, he can’t be all that bad.

My belief is, you know, certain things have to be explained that’s never been explained.

We thought I was going to be a great athlete, and we were wrong, and I thought I was going to be a great entertainer, and that wasn’t it either. I’m going to be an American Citizen. First class.

It’s cool to be healthy.

America is 5 percent of the world’s population and consumes 96 percent of the world’s hard drugs.