373 Quotes by Dorothy Parker

It turns out that, at social gatherings, as a source of entertainment, conviviality, and good fun, I rank somewhere between a sprig of parsley and a single ice-skate.

I don’t ask You to make it easy for me – You can’t do that, for all that You could make a world.

People ought to be one of two things, young or dead.

I give her sadness and the gift of pain, a new moon madness and a love of rain.

This play John Drinkwater’s Abraham Lincoln holds the season’s record, thus far, with a run of four evening performances and one matinee. By an odd coincidence, it ran just five performances too many.

Yet, as only New Yorkers know, if you can get through the twilight, you’ll live through the night.

The two most beautiful words in the English language are ’cheque enclosed.

Age before beauty, and pearls before swine.

I’m never going to accomplish anything; that’s perfectly clear to me. I’m never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don’t do anything. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don’t even do that any more.