1,082 Quotes by Douglas Adams

So this is it," said Arthur, "We are going to die.""Yes," said Ford, "except... no! Wait a minute!" He suddenly lunged across the chamber at something behind Arthur's line of vision. "What's this switch?" he cried."What? Where?" cried Arthur, twisting round."No, I was only fooling," said Ford, "we are going to die after all.

If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is a non-working cat.

What to do if you find yourself stuck in a crack in the ground underneath a giant boulder you can't move, with no hope of rescue. Consider how lucky you are that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you so far, which given your current circumstances seems more likely, consider how lucky you are that it won't be troubling you much longer.

One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about humans was their habit of continually stating and repeating the very very obvious.

He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which.

He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.

If I ever meet myself,' said Zaphod, 'I'll hit myself so hard I won't know what's hit me.

It can hardly be a coincidence that no language on earth has ever produced the expression, 'As pretty as an airport.

This must be Thursday,' said Arthur to himself, sinking low over his beer. 'I never could get the hang of Thursdays.