1,082 Quotes by Douglas Adams

It is difficult to be sat on all day, every day, by some other creature, without forming an opinion on them. On the other hand, it is perfectly possible to sit all day, every day, on top of another creature and not have the slightest thought about them whatsoever.

Ford... you're turning into a penguin. Stop it.

Please call me Eddie if it will help you to relax.

Do you find coming to terms with the mindless tedium of it all presents an interesting challenge?

He had extracted himself from the Cambridge one-way system by the usual method, which involved going round and round it faster and faster until he achieved a sort of escape velocity and flew off at a tangent in a random direction, which he was now trying to identify and correct for.

I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons.

Zaphod Beeblebrox, adventurer, ex-hippie, good-timer (crook? quite possibly), manic self-publicist, terrible bad at personal relationships, often thought to be completely out to lunch.

Well the hours are good...' ... 'but now you come to mention it, most of the actual minutes are pretty lousy.

Marvin started his ironical humming again. Zaphod hit him and he shut up.