201 Quotes by Drew Carey

I loved the old stories in National Lampoon, like the original story the movie Vacation was based on. I used to laugh at them until I cried.

Like I said, all comedy is based on exaggeration, big or small, whatever you can get away with.

I just liked stand-up comedy so much. I used to memorize Bill Cosby albums and other people's albums, George Carlin, Flip Wilson.

When I'm working, I'm going to avoid all media. No newspapers, no magazines, no movies, no radio, no TV. I'm just going to do creative work.

I could still eat a cheeseburger if I wanted to. I just can't have them every day.

What right does a politician have to tell me what I can and cannot watch? Change the channel if you don't like what's on TV!

I wish I could end every rap song I didn't like with a buzzer.

The first Monopoly game I played with my brothers, I hated losing so much, I just had to beat them.

You know what I worry about? I worry that when I hit my head, it pushes my hair into my brain, and it will eventually kill me.