318 Quotes by Dylan Moran

You’re never going to go. Why would you go? It’s a disgusting place. It’s always wet even when it’s dry. There’s nothing there. Farmers aren’t really people, you know this. They’re just necessary, we need somebody to kill cows.

I’m a quitter. I come from a long line of quitters. It’s amazing I’m here at all.

I’m delighted to make as many people feel ashamed as possible. There’s probably a site like that for everybody. I’ve heard Newt Gingrich has his own as well.

Kids, they are always hurting themselves. It’s like, “Quick, get me to casualty quick!” while your doing something important like sitting down picking your ear.

Men look at breasts the way women look at babies. ‘Aw, isn’t that lovely.’

I’m fascinated by how you’ll change your position so many times over a lifetime, but really what you’re doing is occupying a series of positions on a landscape.

Organic? I grew up on Angel Delight. We didn’t have anything in the house if it wasn’t neon!

Oh how I hate you. I hate you so much it gives me energy. I have to get up early in the morning just to hate you, because there’s not enough time in the day! Please GO AWAY!

I would never really analyse what I do. I leave that to other people – I’m not a critic. I just want to get on with whatever I have in hand, you know? Just try to make the best job of the available material.