318 Quotes by Dylan Moran

When things are going well, I can’t write fast enough to keep up with my mind. Writing walks, speech runs and talk flies. Other times, though, it’s like fishing.

And yet, people still turn to Jesus. You will notice though that the kind of people who turn to Jesus tend to be the sort of people who haven’t done that well with everybody else.

I get a phone call once every 18 months from some mad person who wants me to do something for less than no money and they give me about a week’s notice. That’s my film career, most of the time.

You should be as alive as you can, until you’re totally dead!

I never really had a career, to be honest with you. I never in my life sat down and planned it. I have thought, ‘Oh, I’d like to do this,’ like anybody would. But I’m not the type that says, ‘If I do this, it will lead to that.’

You learn very very quickly that it is mostly about swearing, actually. That’s all you’re doing, swearing, in a box with wheels.

I don’t know that you’re able to measure your aggregate wisdom as you go through life. I can’t say that I ever feel that I’m sitting on top of a growing mound of wisdom.

Money can’t buy you love, but it can get you some really good chocolate ginger biscuits.

I thought The Office was good, though I didn’t think of it as a sitcom, just as a very good programme.