318 Quotes by Dylan Moran

I’ve seen stand up comedy, and after a while you start to notice that a lot of people are doing things that are like a lot of other people. There can be a bit of a herd mentality, and that’s obviously less interesting because there’s less going on. I’m just being totally frank with you.

When I was a child, I wanted to watch things that made me laugh. It’s attacking boredom, as simple as that. I was 19 when I first went to a comedy club – I wanted to do it, so I gave it a try and that was it. I found my office.

Paper acts as an eraser on the mind, as soon as you look at what you’ve written.

It probably says something really clinically terrible about my character that I need to get up on a stage and go ‘Ra ra ra’ in front of people.

I can’t relax here. These people have no pubic hair anywhere. We have pubic hair on the ceiling.

You look like a horse in a man costume.

It’s true that I have spoken about doing a book before, but then everyone you speak to is planning to write a book.

I can’t swim. I can’t drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but then I thought, well, what if I crash into a lake?

If you’re a comic, you don’t have a rehearsal room, you rehearse on stage. My main concern is remembering everything.