318 Quotes by Dylan Moran

I never thought I want to do anything, really, except not go to work properly and turn up at the same place every day and eat sandwiches in the same canteen, if I can possibly help it, as I don’t think I’d be very good at it.

I’m a vegetarian, well I’m not hardcore because I eat meat, but only because I like the taste, and I hate vegetables on a personal level so I’m not too good!

One thing that’s coming up a lot is: are you as grumpy as you appear from this Black Books thing.

I don’t really think of myself as an actor.

You try various things when you’re growing up. I was an attache in the Foreign Service for a while and then I drove a bulldozer, but neither of those panned out for me so it had to be stand-up.

Cooking? Oh we were great, you’d take anything and melt cheese on it, and the one who could guess what it was didn’t have to wash up!

I’m really not big on nationalism, to be honest with you. I really don’t think it gets people anywhere except near a pile of dead bodies. I’m Irish, yeah, but I don’t need to get up on a soapbox about it.

Irish people give big hellos and very little goodbyes. Unless they’re female, and then they spend five hours talking in the doorway to the person that’s leaving their house.

I’m just a guy who happens to work in public from time to time. I’ve built a reputation as an established comic, not as a celebrity – a celebrity is someone who is famous but doesn’t do anything.