39 Quotes by Eddie Griffin

The war is really about religion. The war’s between Jesus and Muhammad. The Christians say Jesus is the messenger. Muslims say Muhammad is the messenger. Who gives a expletive who the messenger is did you get the message?

I believe God wrote the Word in your essence. That’s the genius of my Father. You are born knowing right from wrong. You don’t need a book to tell you that!

If bribery is good enough for Congress, it’s good enough for me.

90? 110? You know. It’s a Ferrari, baby – you don’t do 50 in a Ferrari.

Makes no matter if I’m performing in a grocery store, you’re always gonna get 150%.

I remember riding across the Brooklyn Bridge about 12 times because they wanted me to keep up with the helicopter, and I said, “Can you have the helicopter keep up with me, my calves are burning!”

There’s only three major elements. Air, land, which is your flesh and water, which is your blood. You’re walking on a third of yourself. She’s called Mother Earth. She gave birth to your ass. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, your maggot food ass going right back to her!

It’s definitely a relief that it’s over. It’s been a long season for us, with ups and downs. But we’re going to put it behind us now and we’ve got to try and be a better team.

In Europe, kids learn at least four languages before they’re out of high school. But our education system is so underfunded, they go to school to buy heroin and an AK-47.