273 Quotes by Eddie Izzard

PiAno,piAno'It's not a bloody piano, its a clarenARt...you weird talking person.

I don't believe in God. So I'm a non-believer in the non-visible. I'm a believer in us; in humans.

You killed a hundred thousand people? You must get up very early in the morning! I can't even get down the gym!

I saw something in a program on something in Miami, and they were saying, "We've redecorated this building to how it looked over 50 years ago!" And people were going, "No, surely not, no. No one was alive then."

And theres others like taxidermist! You cant just go, Oh, I was just working at the chip shop, and I just started stuffing animals with sand, you know? Youve gotta want to be! I want to be a taxidermist! I wanna fill animals with sand. (mimes stuffing an animal) I wanna get more sand into an animal than anybody has ever bloody got in one. I wanna fill a rat with the entire Gobi Desert, so its really quite tight.

So then there was the Greek, Socrates, he was great... He invented questioning. Before Socrates, no questioning. Everyone sort of went, ''Yeah, I suppose so.

ello, Sue. I've got legs. Do you like bread? I've got a French loaf. Bye! I love you

You can't land on the moon and say, "Ooh, it's all sticky! It's covered in jam!

All humans can do more than they think they can do. So I think we can all actually be more superhuman than we think we can.