273 Quotes by Eddie Izzard

Two languages in one brain? No one can live at that speed!

And there is a rule in every major religion, called the Golden Rule. Essentially: treat other people the way you’d like to be treated yourself. If we all did this, the whole world would work instantaneously. Praying, meditation—fine. But just follow the Golden Rule and the whole world works. Making the world work could be that simple.

You know, I don't believe that religions are religions. No, I believe they are philosophies with some good ideas and some fuckin' weird ones.

Scrabble was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia.

But stinging nettles: They just love existing, don't they? They're bastards. Stinging nettles are the Nazis of the weed world.

You're analog players in a digital world.

I love the fact that trying is respected. The American Dream: if you try, if you build it, they will come. I love that. It's honorable.

Religion and philosophy, philosophy and religion - they're two words which are both ... different. In spelling.

We stole countries with the cunning use of flags. Just sail around the world and stick a flag in. "I claim India for Britain!" They're going "You can't claim us, we live here! Five hundred million of us!" "Do you have a flag …? "No..." "Well, if you don't have a flag, then you can't have a country. Those are the rules... that I just made up!