273 Quotes by Eddie Izzard

Spiders frighten me. In response to the spider alerts for Australia, please can the Australian government remove all spiders from Australia and blow them into outer space.

It’s my manifest destiny to wear a skirt in all countries.

Comedy is like a very cokey, druggy sugar. You get hits of comedy, and it’s very, “More, give me more of that stuff,” because serotonin is being released in the brain. So it’s basically, everyone becomes serotonin junkies, and we are serotonin dealers. And that’s what being a comedian is about.

They say that ‘Guns don’t kill people, people kill people.’ Well I think the gun helps. If you just stood there and yelled BANG, I don’t think you’d kill too many people.

The word itself – dyslexia – is ironically very hard for dyslexic people to spell correctly.

My stand-up is quite good now, people say. It’s just like a big conversation each time. Every gig is a rehearsal.

If you’ve never seen an elephant ski, you’ve never been on acid.

I’m an Action Transvestite.

I don’t believe that competitions are important.