273 Quotes by Eddie Izzard

In stand-up it really helps to play yourself and talk about your own feelings. You cannot fail to be original if you’re just talking about what you think about X, Y and Z. Unless you’ve got a twin brother who’s also a stand-up.

We need to become more open minded to the idea that many of us exist on a spectrum – a continuum – of gender. That for some of us the choice isn’t just one or the other – completely male or completely female – but often a combination of both. In fact, it seems there are three different lines on the sexuality spectrum: how you self identify, who you’re attracted to, and what you look like. And it seems the dial can be at any place on any of those three lines.

If there were a god, don’t you think he would have flicked Hitler’s head off?

The bottom line of comedy is to be funny, and the bottom line of drama is to be truthful. You can be truthful and funny, but if you’re not truthful in a drama than the audience leaves you.

I’ve just come to the conclusion that all women should wear whatever they want to wear and that all men should wear whatever they want to wear. If they have a problem with that, they should take it up with United Nations.

Real life is actually a lot of boring things with occasional spikes of interest. Eddie Izzard.

Don’t get somewhere as fast as possible. Get somewhere as good as possible.

Because that’s what narcissism is all about; looking in the mirror everyday and thinking ‘Damn, I’d like to shag myself.’

Cable cars are fun – everyone gets on board and becomes a rhesus monkey.