273 Quotes by Eddie Izzard

Everyone gets cards at the beginning of life. I am transgender, I decided to be honest and tell everyone about it, and that’s it.

I think this should be called non-victim behavior. A surprise offer of bright cheeriness and self-confidence on people who were probably about to say negative things to you, in order to make you a non-victim and just a member of society.

If you get too well-known, you can never be a comedian’s comedian, it just won’t sit well. But I’m fine with that. I’m fine with that label.

Sharks are just evil bastards. I’m quite happy if all the sharks just went, because they eat fish and us. And we need the fish.

We have two hundred languages in Europe. Two hundred languages! Count them! I know you won’t!

Some people are widely read. I’m thinly read.

I’ll just borrow confidence from a future version of myself.

And there is a rule in every major religion, called the Golden Rule. Essentially: treat other people the way you’d like to be treated yourself. If we all did this, the whole world would work instantaneously. Praying, meditation – fine. But just follow the Golden Rule and the whole world works. Making the world work could be that simple.

Cats have a scam going – you buy the food, they eat the food, they go away; that’s the deal.