147 Quotes by Eddie Van Halen

I applied to Uncyclopedia Bassists, and was accepted!!

I boil the strings so they stretch.

Jimmy Page is an excellent producer. Led Zeppelin I and II are classics. As a player he's very good in the studio, but I've never seen him play well live. He's sloppy. He plays like he's got a broken hand and he's two years old. If you put out a good album and play like a two year old, what's the purpose?

I went to the zoo one day and saw a chimp playing with a beat-up acoustic guitar in a way I had never seen before. Instead of using the pick the chimp was banging the neck and tapping it with its fingers. I knew the chimp was on to something so I practiced this new technique in my room for hours until I'd perfected it.

I'm just a guitarist in a kick-ass rock and roll band. What more could I ask for?

Eventually you'll take the phrases and rhythm patterns you've copped and begin to put your own mark on them

Bass is for people who can't play guitar

Sometimes I just want to lick David Lee Roth in the nuts

Everything comes to me while I'm sitting on the pot.