12 Quotes by Eirik Gumeny

And then we all flew back to New Jersey on the back of my unicorn,” said the donut guy. “You have a unicorn?!” asked Thor as excitedly as a six-year-old girl. “No.” “Oh,” replied Thor as sadly as a six-year-old girl who just found out unicorns weren’t real.

Hey, like Shakespeare said, it can’t be porn if it’s classy.

And that, my good sir,” he said to the refrigerator, “is why mustard tastes purple.

Burt Reynolds’ mustache would kick Steve McQueen’s ass.

The thunder god stared for a while, broken only by bouts of acute blinking. Chester A. Arthur XVII scratched his shoulder. Catrina scratched the back of her neck. “Is he OK?” Timmy wondered. “He’s just thinking,” explained Catrina. “Oh god,” said Queen Victoria XXX. “Should we help him?” “Give him a second. I think he can do it.

The author waives all liability should you keep reading after you’ve already decided you’re going to hate it.

Through means no one was proud of, a team of reality show producers took control of the North American government after the previous administration just up and exploded. The.

They were going to continue to fight for their freedom. They were going to kill for it. Some of them were even willing to dry-hump the corpses if that would help.

How exactly did he die? He’s just a porter. If he’s a zombie he’s still gotta finish his shift. We’re non-discriminatory.