13 Quotes by Elizabeth Little

Mutli-tools are like insults, girls - you should always have one on hand.

God, I love the waltz, the way the elegance of the one-count draws your attention away from the restlessness of the two-three.

I think it's fair to say that I don't pick up languages. If anything, I roll around in them gracelessly and pray that something sticks.

An argument's more convincing if you let them think they've figured it out themselves

If the mark doesn’t do as you ask, when you ask, you leak their secret. No excuses. No mercy. Brutal consistency is the key to credibility. Mothers, dog trainers, Israel – you know what I’m talking about.

I never understand it when parents talk about sending their kids to school to “socialize” them. Children aren’t people. They’re barely even animals. They’re just suppurating wounds of emotion inflamed by too much positive reinforcement. You can’t be socialized by the unsocializable. That’s like asking King Kong to teach tap dance.

If I’d been free to pick any name in the world, I would have one for something diaphanous and fanciful, like Coralie or Delphine, the kind of name a grand dame gives a petit chien. Because no one – no one – daydreams about pretty names more than girls called Jane. And with good reason, you know? I mean, even our most illustrious Janes are world-class stick-in-the-mud. Austen, Eyre, Doe? Spintser, sucker, corpse. It’s a wonder I managed as well as I did.

Strange, but I actually wished I was hungover. Because when you’re so busy thinking about how awful you feel you forget for a moment how awful you are. Because pain can be its own relief. Because throwing up is a super-effective way to stay a size 0.

Mutli-tools are like insults, girls – you should always have one on hand.