606 Quotes by Eoin Colfer

I am not qualified to deal with this. Why does everyone I meet seem to have mental problems?Ah...but did they have mental problems before meeting you? Who’s the common denominator here, Dan?I do not have mental problems! I say to the voice in my head, perfectly aware how damning it would sound were I to say it aloud.

I am surprised. ‘A disk? A bloody disk. What do I look like to you? Jason goddamn Bourne?

This is working out pretty well, all things considered. My giddy side wants to giggle, but I choke it down. Later for the girlishness.

Deacon laughs. ‘People like you and me, Dan, trouble sniffs us out. Maybe you can hide out for a while, maybe even a few years, but eventually someone needs to be saved or someone needs to be killed.

M...maybe,’ I stutter. ‘Whatever the reason, this woman has problems. We need to be compassionate, show understanding.’‘Or slice her head off. I have plastic bags.’Sure. We could toss her in the car beside her partner, then drive to the mall where I dumped Macey and line up all three bodies together in the Lexus. Hell, why not steal Connie’s corpse from the morgue to complete the set?

Just what we need," moaned Holly. "Artemis Fowl with magical powers.

Everything rests on the poisoned wine. If it were just the queen, I could force it down her gullet, but Declan Broekhart would run me through with that damned ceremonial sword, and if his wife's stares were daggers, he'd be dead already.

You need to stop thinking with your head, Mud Boy, and start thinking with your heart.”Artemis sighed. The heart was an organ for pumping oxygen-rich blood to the cells. It could no more think than an apple could tap-dance.

No Fletcher. Wake up, boy. Those are the flames of Hell. Dermont dropped out of school, so that's where he's headed. See the little horns? -Ms. Quinn