606 Quotes by Eoin Colfer

A metaphorical weight lifted from his allegorical chest and Artemis Fowl felt himself again.

Butler,” he called, his voice thin and childlike in the wind. “Yes, Artemis, what?” “If something goes wrong, wait for me. No matter how it looks, I will return. I will bring them all back.

That was all he said, except for "Aaaeerrgghhh." Which is not really a word. But the reason that he screamed "Aaaeerrgghhh" was that Franco had bitten him savegly on the wrist.

If Elmore Leonard met Jim Thompson down a dark alley at midnight they might emerge a week later with thick beards, bloodshot eyes and the manuscript for THE BIG O.

She forces me to endure this ridiculous therapy, when the so-called counselors are little better than misguided do-gooders with degrees. -Artemis Fowl

...How was your... eh... trip?” Artemis felt the sting of tears in his own eyes. “Um, eventful...

Knock yourself out... Or rather, don't.

If it looks like a Dwarf, and it smells like a Dwarf, then it's probably a Dwarf or a latrine wearing dungerees.

It'll be messy, but after a day you'll be zipping around as though you were a thousand years old again.