606 Quotes by Eoin Colfer

And one more thing. About my name — Artemis — you were right. In London, it is generally a female name, after the Greek goddess of archery. But every now and then a male comes along with such a talent for hunting that he earns the right to use the name. I am that male. Artemis the hunter. I hunted you.

Scientists are the enemies of tradition , and tradition own all the prisons. - Victor Vigny

(about his terrible attempt at making a sandwich) It's more difficult than it looks. (Artemis Fowl)

Argh? Pathetic and inarticulate. Nice combination. Your mothers must be so proud.

If I win, I'm a prodigy. If I lose, then I'm crazy. That's the way history is written.

Artemis: "Right, brothers. Onward. Imagine yourself seated at a cafe in Montmartre." Myles: "In Paris." Artemis: "Yes, Paris. And try as you will, you cannot attract the waiter's attention. What do you do?" Beckett: "Umm...tell Butler to jump-jump-jump on his head?" Myles: "I agree with simple-toon." Artemis: "No! You simply raise one finger and say clearly 'ici, garcon.'" Beckett: "Itchy what?

I am unarmed. But Butler here, my ...ah...butler, has a Sig Saucer in his shoulder holster, two shrike-throwing knives in his boots, aderringer two-shot up his sleeve, garrotte wire in his watch, and three stun greanades concealed in variouse pockets. Anything else, Butler?

If you're going to read five books, three should be issues and two for fun.

Now before we get into anything, ladies, no scratching, no spitting and no tattling to mummy.