606 Quotes by Eoin Colfer

Dear Internet: One Billion Hysterical Opinions Do Not Carry the Weight of a Single Fact.

As the clinic’s janitors, it had been a simple matter for Merv and Scant to plant the acid balloons the previous evening. Of.

Listen to me, convict. I have not traveled all this way to listen to your war stories. So shut your trap before I shut it for you. Commander Julius Root.

When life gives you a lemon, thought Teddy, slipping his fingers neatly into the weapon’s finger holes, you knock the lemon senseless.

The female guard smiled broadly then collapsed. On the ground she began singing a nursery rhyme about doggies and their bones.

I’m just a teenager with hormones running wild. And may I say, young fairy lady, they’re running wild in your direction.

Red was smiling back at me. “Ok. I’m not in trouble. But tell me your heart didn’t start beating for the first time in a month.” I couldn’t deny it. So I didn’t.

Remember this? You gave it to me for ensuring your trigger finger got reattached to your hand. You said it would remind me of that spark of decency inside me. I’m trying to do something decent now, Captain.

I always thought my intellect would keep me alive, but now I shall be killed by my own baby brother with a rock. The ultimate sibling rivalry.