530 Quotes by Erma Bombeck

I've never vied for power in the family before. Pointing a box at the garage door and saying "Open!" was never a big deal, but holding that television tuner and realizing I alone control what is flashed on the screen brings out the Iacocca in me.

I originate from a family where sauce is viewed as a refreshment.

I think it's time we women stopped carrying supplies for the entire family. If children don't have room to carry their own toys, if men don't have pockets in their pants, tougho.

She's as funny as a toothache

A kitchen without an ironing board? Are you kidding? It's un-American. It's like Simon without Garfunkel.

Enter my first neighbor - a woman who spoke in complete, coherent sentences, who ate with a knife and fork and who only cried at weddings. I couldn't help myself. In a dramatic gesture, I bolted the door and threw my body across it to prevent her exit. She understood.

Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments.

He who laughs.....lasts.

A fitting room to me has always been like a confessional ... where my body and my contrition take up the entire room.