530 Quotes by Erma Bombeck
- Author Erma Bombeck
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Phrases and their actual meanings: "My teacher has never liked me." Expect a phone call before lunch from the teacher informing you that your child has been launching hot dogs by compressing them inside a small Thermos and then removing the lid quickly.
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- Author Erma Bombeck
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People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.
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You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren't dying. They're merging into big conglomerates.
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The mole rat is the only rodent born without a fur coat. With a good lawyer, someone would pay for that little oversight.
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Children make your life important.
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What makes people laugh? . . . It's a happy marriage between a person who needs to laugh and someone who's got one to give.
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Some of the best fiction writers got their start writing airline menus.
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At some point in your life, if you're lucky, you throw practicality to the wind and start living.
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If anyone knew where they were, I'd send the ISDBB (Incredibly Stupid and Dumb Beyond Belief) award to the two guys who tried to break in to the Ohio penitentiary.
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