530 Quotes by Erma Bombeck

Most children's first words are 'Mama' or 'Daddy.' Mine were, 'Do I have to use my own money?'

I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along.

For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.

Know the difference between success and fame. Success is Mother Teresa. Fame is Madonna.

A small waist makes you tire easily.

The term 'working mother' is redundant.

We wondered why when a child laughed, he belonged to Daddy, and when he had a sagging diaper that smelled like a landfill, 'He wants his mother.'

Pregnancy is the only time in a woman's life she can help God work a miracle.

My idea of 'roughing it' is when you have to have an extension for your electric blanket.