530 Quotes by Erma Bombeck

I have paid as much as $300 a night to throw up in a sink shaped like a seashell.

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend and he's a priest.

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.

On vacations. We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings.

Seize the moment . Remember all those women who waved off the dessert cart on the Titanic.

It was Halloween that did me in, that single day when your children turn to you for imagination and creativity, the one day of the year when you must transcend fantasy.

Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the "Titanic" who waved off the dessert cart.

If I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

If God had meant us to walk around naked, he would never have invented the wicker chair