753 Quotes by Evan Esar

Congress would give the people what they wanted if the people knew what they wanted, and if Congress could give it to them.

Bureaucracy is more people doing less things, and taking more time to do them worse.

The lazy man claims he is too heavy for light work and too light for heavy work.

Experience is a great teacher, and sometimes a pretty teacher is a great experience.

Nowadays it's not who wears the pants in the family, but who carries the credit cards.

Egocentricity: The vanity that makes you wonder what people are thinking about you when they are really wondering what you are thinking about them.

The Lord takes care of his own, but church trustees still put lightning rods on the steeple.

Egocentric: A person who has his I's too close together.

When you make your mark in the world, watch out for the envious with erasers.