187 Quotes by Florence King

I've always said that next to Imperial China, the South is the best place in the world to be an old lady.

We worship education but hate learning. We worship success but hate the successful. We worship fame but hate the famous.

Let's bring back grandmothers! A real family consists of three generations. It's time Americans stopped worrying about interference and being a burden on the children and regrouped under one roof.

Of all the old maid's blessing, the greatest is carte blanche. Spinsterhood is powerful; once a woman is called "that crazy old maid" she can get away with anything.

If whisky or salt won't cure it, then to hell with it. I worry about important things.

America is not a democracy, it's an absolute monarchy ruled by King Kid. In a nation of immigrants, the child is automatically more of an American than his parents. Americans regard children as what Mr. Hudson in Upstairs, Downstairs called betters. Aping their betters, American adults do their best to turn themselves into children. Puerility exercises droit de seigneur everywhere.

Each time a mediocre singer performs, he is saying, in effect, "This is good enough for you." The audience, thrust into that familiar American mood of knowing something is wrong but not knowing what it is, unconsciously absorbs the insult and projects it back onto the mediocre performer in the form of inattention, rudeness and noise.

It's the Government's job to print the money, deliver the mail and declare war. Now give me my cigarettes.

No matter which sex I went to bed with, I never smoked on the street