579 Quotes by Fran Lebowitz

London: A place you go to get bronchitis.

Albert Einstein didn't care where he lived. Albert Einstein was a genius. Albert Einstein wasn't getting lost in the master bedroom, he was lost in thought.

They know you can't get people to stop smoking, so they develop a system of informants. That's the whole idea of second-hand smoke, you know. Make second-hand smoke dangerous and turn everybody against smokers. Then they say you can't even smoke in a bar -- a bar! -- because bartenders have a right to a smoke-free "workspace." Ah, bartenders, those health nuts ...

When people say, 'Doesn't Gloria [Vanderbilt] look great? She's 85.' I say, 'Yes, she was a raving beauty when she was 20,' that's the key. Very helpful.

The first step in having any successful war is getting people to fight it.

Even when America is not working that well, it still works better than other places. F

You should make it hard on yourself to write so you’re easier to read.

When I'm supposed to be writing I clean my apartment, take my clothes to the laundry, get organized, make lists, do the dishes. I would never do a dish unless I had to write.

[Friendships] are easy to get out of compared to love affairs, but they are not easy to get out of compared to, say, jail.