579 Quotes by Fran Lebowitz

New York City is filled with the same kind of people I left New Jersey to get away from.

I stopped taking drugs when I was 19, and who wants to drive a cab around New York with drugs in their car?

New York was always more expensive than the other places, even when it was going bankrupt. In other words, in 1971, New York was expensive for someone with no money. For anyone.

People are constantly telling me, whether they are friends who feel sorry for me, because I can't find a place to live, or real estate agents, "You can't afford an apartment the size you need with this many books. Why don't you just put some of your books in storage?" And I always say the same thing: "What if I told you I had four children? Would you say, 'You just can't afford to house four children. Why don't you just put two of them in storage?'" That's how I feel.

I’m a horrible girlfriend. I always was. I’m great at the beginning, because I can be very romantic.

Think before you speak. Read before you think. This will give you something to think about that you didn’t make up yourself – a wise move at any age, but most especially at seventeen, when you are in the greatest danger of coming to annoying conclusions.

Children ask better questions than adults. “May I have a cookie?” “Why is the sky blue?” and “What does a cow say?” are far more likely to elicit a cheerful response than “Where’s your manuscript?” “Why haven’t you called?” and “Who’s your lawyer?”

No one’s supposed to be the president. This is not England. And it’s not just the Bush family, all families designate each child as having some particular trait.

There’s too much democracy in the culture, not enough in the society.