579 Quotes by Fran Lebowitz

I’m very lazy, I hate to work.

You’re only as good as your last haircut.

I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.

Think before you speak. Read before you think. This will give you something to think about that you didn’t make up yourself.

I used to love to write. As a child I used to write all the time. I loved to write up until the second I got my first professional writing job. It turns out it’s not that I hate to write. I hate, simply, to work.

The opposite of talking isn’t listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.

I’ve always been old at heart.

I’m sure that being sober all these years accounts for my ill humor.

I am not a callous sort. I believe that all people should have warm clothing, sufficient food, and adequate shelter. I do feel, however, that unless they are willing to behave in an acceptable manner they should bundle up, chow down, and stay home.