579 Quotes by Fran Lebowitz

I have a double policy, which would also solve immigration: I would stand at the border of New York City and I would say, “You can come here to live, but you can’t come here to visit.”

Did it ever occur to anyone that if you put nice libraries in public schools you wouldn’t have to put them in prisons?

Now the culture is made of old things, it’s a collage. Art made out of art is not art. You’re supposed to make art out of life.

Take away a man’s actual sense of manhood – which is conventionally based on the ability to work, to earn money, to be self-sufficient, to provide for children – and you’ve got to give them something else. And they did.

It’s very important who the president of the United States is. America is a great idea, so that’s why it’s a great country.

But alas, I do not rule the world and that, I am afraid, is the story of my life – always a godmother, never a God.

A woman’s quest in life should be to find the perfect apartment. And I have found the perfect apartment. The perfect apartment is the first floor of the Metropolitan Museum. With a sofa.

There’s no such thing as advice to the lovelorn. If they took advice, they wouldn’t be lovelorn.

If you must give your child lessons, send him to driving school. He is far more likely to end up owning a Datsun than he is a Stradivarius.