579 Quotes by Fran Lebowitz

If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don’t teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.

If food did not exist it would be well-nigh impossible to get certain types off the phone, as one would be unable to say, ‘Look, I’ve got to run but let’s have dinner sometime soon.’

Scientists are rarely to be counted among the fun people. Awkward at parties, shy with strangers, deficient in irony – they have had no choice but to turn their attention to the close study of everyday objects.

Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won’t feel like watching.

A book is not supposed to be a mirror. It’s supposed to be a door.

I must take issue with the term ‘a mere child,’ for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult.

Scientists – the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set.

Success didn’t spoil me, I’ve always been insufferable.

What’s the point of being young if you’re not going to make new things, I wonder?