579 Quotes by Fran Lebowitz

Anti-smoking sentiment has replaced middle-class morality entirely. The smoker has taken the place of the homosexual. Today you hear people say things about smokers that used to be said about homosexuals – they pollute the environment; you don’t want them around your children...

Smoking is, if not my life, then at least my hobby. I love to smoke. Smoking is fun. Smoking is cool. Smoking is, as far as I am concerned, the entire point of being an adult.

A dog who thinks he is a man’s best friend is a dog who obviously has never met a tax lawyer.

I woke up at five o’clock in the morning with the whole first paragraph in my head. Now, this just shows what a slothful person I am: I tried to go back to sleep.

I doubt there’s ever been a true thing said on Fox. Maybe the weather report, maybe not.

Life is something that happens when you can’t get to sleep.

Not writing is probably the most exhausting profession I’ve ever encountered.

Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. It’s a drug. It distorts reality, and that’s the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.

I have a hard time writing. Most writers have a hard time writing. I have a harder time than most because I’m lazier than most. I don’t want to brag, but I’m the laziest person I have ever known.