579 Quotes by Fran Lebowitz

Forcing people into a situation where they’re supposed to adore each other is probably bad. But letting people get on and off the 6 train without stabbing each other, that’s good.

I just can’t smile at people for money.

If you removed all of the homosexuals and homosexual influence from what is generally regarded as American culture, you would pretty much be left with Let’s Make a Deal.

I don’t care if New York avoided bankruptcy by substituting tourism for the garment business.

I’m not a Communist. I’m an American. I’m a capitalist. I mean, I’m not a very good capitalist, myself. I’m not very good at it, but it’s not that I’m not for capitalism. But people who believe in things like corporate citizenship, it’s idiotic. I mean, it shows you’re an idiot.

If you want to get ahead in this world get a lawyer – not a book.

If you can stay in love for more than two years, you’re on something.

When I fly, I’m never afraid the plane is going to crash. But there have often been times when I was afraid it wouldn’t crash. I was just afraid it was going to circle O’Hare for the rest of my life.

Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one.