21 Quotes by Frank Muir

In other states, they're passionate; they're not embarrassed by their agricultural roots.

A golf ball is white, dimpled like a bishop's knees, and is the size of small mandarin oranges or those huge pills which vets blow down the throats of constipated cart-horses.

The speeches to be wary of are those that begin with I'm just going to say a few words.

Hotel tea is when you have to mix together a plastic envelope containing too much sugar, a small plastic pot of something which is not milk but has curdled anyway, and a thin brown packet seemingly containing the ashes of a cremated mole.

The golden rule when reading the menu is, if you cannot pronounce it, you cannot afford it.

It has been said that a bride's attitude towards her betrothed can be summed up in three words: Aisle. Alter. Hymn.

The glances over cocktails That seem to be so sweet Don't seem quite so amorous Over Shredded Wheat

The glances over cocktails That seem to be so sweet Don’t seem quite so amorous Over Shredded Wheat.

The speeches to be wary of are those that begin with I’m just going to say a few words.