154 Quotes by Frankie Boyle

I don’t read newspapers anymore – I just lie to myself and cut out the middleman.

Jordan ran the London marathon to help raise money for the blind. After jogging that far with her body, I’m surprised she hasn’t joined them!

Do you think George Bush actually knows who Gordon Brown is? He probably just thinks Tony Blair’s put on weight and had a mild stroke.

Apparently they’re going to bring in Super Asbos. But Asbos already sound too cool. Teenagers see them as a badge of honour. They should call them Gaybos or Bender Badges.

I don’t know how long i could be a vet before i got bored and started shagging stuff.

I can’t help thinking the failed New York bomber would’ve done far more damage if he’d simply driven throught Times Square in a Toyota.

The East End of Glasgow is like the Olympics. Lots of foriegners in tracksuits struggling to speak English.

Does anyone actually think that Beckham knows he’s in America? I think he just follows a football and all he notices is that it occasionally gets warmer.

The Lib Dems found it very hard to decide whether they were Labour or Tory supporters, mostly because they’re Lib Dem supporters. I mean had most of them agreed with one of the major parties they would probably have applied to join those parties instead of standing at the back of town halls looking disappointed.