33 Quotes by Fred Barnett

They’re dogs. Never trust a man. Even when he’s dead. Especially when he’s dead. — Bats 2015

You’re going to show up to a duel, in the street, wearing Come F—k Me Heels?" — Bats 2015

Depart, Satan,' she said, with a complete lack of enthusiasm. — Bats 2015

Wichtor’s been cranky ever since a fat vulture roosted on his granite Cârnat, uh, schmekel in 1864 and broke it off." — Bats 2015

Vlad was sexting Elizabeth a picture of his pulă rigiditate, while he told Mina. “I vould like totally hang up on the dude. He’s no Baldwin." — Bats 2015

We won’t be able to sleep without the sound of her self-loathing orgasms crying out into the night." —Bats 2015

I was afraid that your buns were blown all the way to the Bardot Museum in Paris, where they put them on display, and then….” Mina said, “Were they displayed like this?" —Bats 2015

Bolts of energy swirled in the air and streamed into Dave’s butt. Dave sneezed ... No. He farted through his nose.

...causing her eyes to bulge and her tongue to flick from behind her luscious lips, scaring away insects." — Amok 2015