12 Quotes by Fred Reed

A burro is an ass. A burrow is a hole in the ground. A reporter should know the difference.

Congress, 535 commoditized temple monkeys pawing through the ruins of America in search of bribes. The bicameral whorehouse on Capitol Hill works like a vending machine. You put coins in the slot, select your law, and the desired legislation slides out.

Without men, civilization would last until the oil needed changing.

I may think that hornets do not have an ideal social organization. But I know better than to poke their nest.

Wars are the hobbies of half-informed children who have somehow come into possession of the levers of power.

Evolution writ large is the belief that a cloud of hydrogen will spontaneously invent extreme-ultraviolet lithography, perform Swan Lake, and write all the books in the British Museum.

Voting in particular is an embarrassment, being a public display of weak character and low intelligence. Let us face the truth: Democracy, like spitting in public or the Roman games, is the proper activity of the lower intellectual and moral classes. It amounts to collusion in one’s own suckering.

Kids esteem themselves when they have accomplished something worth esteeming.

In fact, the gravest obstacle to the restoration of civilization in North America is universal suffrage. Letting everybody vote makes no sense. Obviously they are no good at it. The whole idea smacks of the fumble-witted idealism of a high-school Marxist society.