407 Quotes by Garrison Keillor

Marrying for sex is like flying to London for the free peanuts and pretzels. It's not the point of the thing, is it?

The great unrequited love tears open your heart to the beauty of the world, its small rivers and upland meadows. It also makes you kinder to the next hundred thousand persons who cross your path.

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.

Humor is not about problems with airline luggage handlers. It's about our lives in America and it's about the ends of our lives and it's about everything that happens after that and everything that happened before.

Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known.

English is the perfect language for preachers because it allows you to talk until you think of what to say.

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.

People always are encouraging about a terrible loss, so that sometimes the loser would like to strangle them.

Powdermilk biscuits: Heavens, theyre tasty and expeditious! Theyre made from whole wheat, to give shy persons the strength to get up and do what needs to be done