175 Quotes by Gary Shteyngart

I'm the fortieth ugliest man in this bar. But so what! So what!... Isn't this how people used to fall in love?

Getting out of Russia was the best thing my parents did. I mean, that country will never amount to anything.

If you read only one memoir by a disaffected, urban, 20-something Jewish girl this year, make it this one. Shukert rocks the lulav.

Satire always benefits when evil and stupidity collide.

I love librarians more than any other people in the world. When I was an immigrant kid, they’ve made me feel like a human being and they gave me books that taught me English.

I was really not a good student, and I felt that shame every day. That's one of the reasons I started smoking pot and drinking daily.

A writer or any suffering artist-to-be is just an instrument too finely set to the human condition [...]

If my mother hadn't tried to sell me chicken Kiev cutlets for $1.40 after I graduated from college, maybe I would've been the lawyer she wanted me to be.

It is a capital insult in this country not to make love to a naked woman, even if she is related to you.