1,246 Quotes by George Carlin

Leadership camp? Isn’t that where Hitler went?

The secret of success is doing something you love, doing it well and being recognized for it.

When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.

I don’t own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist.

Sometimes when I’m told to use my own discretion, if no one is looking I’ll use someone else’s. But I always put it back.

If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people into office who screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. You caused the problem; you voted them in; you have no right to complain.

Always do whatever’s next.

Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticided grain, For strip-mined mountain’s majesty above the asphalt plain. America, America, man sheds his waste on thee, And hides the pines with billboard signs, from sea to oily sea.

Why should it be illegal to sell something that’s perfectly legal to give away?